Healthy vs Unhealthy Relationships : Scenario Reference Sheet



Scenario 1:

My boyfriend/girlfriend and I have been dating for a month. I wanted to fool around or have sex with him/her and I sort of said that two nights ago. Yesterday my parents left for the weekend and he/she slept over. But I started to feel really uncomfortable when we started kissing/ or /when he/she was touching my breasts/ or / he/she went down on me. I started feeling sort of sick and nervous. I think he/she noticed that I didn’t feel good. He/She asked me if there was anything wrong. It was kind of hard for me to explain, so I didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Then I just said I didn’t feel well. He/She seemed a little annoyed, but he/she said that that was cool, and got me a glass of water. I told him/her that I didn’t feel good because, I wasn’t ready to go that far yet. He/She listened and we decided that we would wait until we both felt like it was comfortable. Then we watched a movie and went to sleep.

 

Consequence 1:

Healthy relationship: The girl feels as though her feelings are supported and her decision is respected. They are able to communicate their feelings and have an honest discussion.

 

Scenario 2:

I was 17 and it was two weeks into the semester, when some friends invited me to a dorm party. I went and soon my friends disappeared. I started drinking as soon as I got there and I met this guy/girl that was a junior there. We talked throughout the night and he/she kept bringing me drinks. After a while, I invited him/her to my dorm room, which was a couple of doors away. All I wanted to do was kiss him/her. I thought he/she was really cute. He/She told me we should go to his/her place. I still have no idea why I went. When we got there we started kissing and he/she started taking off my clothes and I let him/her. It wasn't until we were having sex that I said “no.” I told him/her to stop over-and-over, but he/she wouldn't. I tried to push him/her away but he/she grabbed my hands and pushed them against the bed. The next day I had bruises.

 

Consequence 2:

Legal: Section 271 – Sexual Assault

Sexual assault includes any form of sexual activity without a person's consent. This may include: any kissing, fondling, touching, oral/anal sex or sexual intercourse without consent; not stopping sexual contact when asked to; forcing someone to engage in sexual intercourse or any other sexual act.

  • Prohibits forceful sexual contact without consent

  • If complainant is under 14 years; consent is no defence

Maximum penalty: 10 years in jail

Lesser charges: $2,000 fine or at least 6 months in jail

 

Source: Scenarios taken from the Inuvik Youth Centre Society, Developing Healthy Relationships Workshop. It was made possible by the generous support of Green Shield Canada Foundation and NWT Community Justice: Victims Assistance Fund.

 

Source: Adapted from It’s Our Turn: A Handbook for Youth Role Models (The Laurel Centre: Winnipeg, Manitoba, 2003).